What makes a great date night, anyway?
Freedom from responsibilities…✓
An opportunity to connect and enjoy each other…✓
A chance to dream about your future together…✓
Ooh, how about some stress-free money talk?
Okay, sounds great, but how do you make the most of this time together?
Here are 6 tips we use every month to make sure our Money Date Night stays, well, a date night. Maybe they’ll work for you, too.
1. Set a date and time. And here’s the important part: stick to it. Get it on your shared calendar and as much as possible, make sure nothing gets in the way. Also, avoid trying to have deep money conversations at other times. While it may work for you to bring it up sporadically, it may not for your partner, and they may feel cornered and unprepared.
2. Location matters. Money is personal, so having your date night in a public place may not be the best route to go. Comfort is key, but you also want to be in a place that makes you feel inspired (you’re talking about your future, after all!) If staying home feels blah (or distracting), what would it look like to pack a picnic and sit outside somewhere? Or, if you want to make it a special date, go to that special public place first, then go somewhere private.
Location ideas: Out for a walk, out for breakfast/lunch/dinner then outside somewhere, a room in your house or apartment that you don’t really use (pro tip: light some candles).
If you want to make it more like a couple’s retreat, we have rented an Airbnb for the weekend about a half hour away. It can be a super affordable option and makes you feel far away.
3. Make sure you both know what you’re talking about. Deciding what you want to use the time for and what you’d like to get clarity on. It could be as broad as money values or as specific as what investments you have and why. Having a topic will help you both be open to the conversation and feel like your time is well spent.
From our experience, adding to the agenda can be tricky. If you’ve agreed on the topic, stick to it. Adding more elements, especially at first, can make the other person feel uneasy. If you want to talk about something else, ask whether it’s a good time or whether it should be next date night’s topic.
4. Don’t take this stuff too too seriously. It’s okay to have fun! These conversations are about your possibilities together and future adventures.
Sure, you want to talk about the practicalities of how these dreams can happen. And, you also want to make sure you’re not going down the road we like to call “joy whack-a-mole.” That phrase probably speaks for itself.
5. End with action steps. Make sure you end your night with at least 1 takeaway of what you will both do. Play to your strengths. If you LOVE researching and your partner doesn’t, you do that piece and have them do something they’re good at…like finding a cool financial app or podcast to listen to.
Taking action = motivation.
Pro tip: Ask each other what will get in the way of you doing the thing you committed to. What is more romantic than helping each other identify roadblocks so you actually make progress? <3
6. Share something you really like about the person when you begin. You know…date night stuff. Like their outfit? Do they smell good? (We hope so.) Did they do something special for you this week and you appreciate it? Tell them. We’re trying to set a mood here!
Want more ideas?
Here’s one of our favorite posts by The Simple Dollar: